Some funny quotes

[Mousymogul]

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”

“I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."”

“I have nothing to declare except my genius.”

“Listen, everyone is entitled to my opinion.”


"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver."
- Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman

"The team has come along slow but fast."
- Casey Stengel, Baseball player/manager

"I think the team that wins Game 5 will win the series. Unless we lose Game 5."
- Charles Barkley, NBA Basketball Player

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
- Charles De Gaulle, former French President

"Football players win football games."
- Chuck Knox, football coach

"Most lies about blondes are false."
- Cincinnati Times-Star, headline

"If you give a person a fish, they'll fish for a day. But if you train a person to fish, they'll fish for a lifetime."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago"
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system!"
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President on the concept of a manned mission to Mars

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."
- David Acfield

"The internet is a great way to get on the net."
- Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
- Britney Spears, Pop Singer

"Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something."
- Dennis Rodman, NBA Basketball player, on Chicago Bull's team chemistry being overrated

"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
- George Bush, former U.S. President

The largest crowd ever in the state of Las Vegas."
- Mark Jones, TV Broadcaster

[Mousymogul]

“Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.”

“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”

“It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.”

“Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.”

[kamyuen]

Nice quotes.

[Icey]

LOL, most of them sound as though they came from the mouth of George W Bush

[raperofzenoob]

LOL yea they do "my name is george W bush"