Irish Jokes *Irish members, dont read!*

**PK_** · **Irish Jokes *Irish members, dont read!* -** 04-07-2003, 02:01 AM

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini,
each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the
jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman
started to leave. "S'cuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan
had done. "What was that all about?" "Nothing," said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me out for a jar
of olives."

Pat and Mick landed themselves a job at a sawmill. Just before
morning tea pat yelled: "Mick! I lost me finger!" "Have you now?" says Mick. "And how did you do it?" "I just touched this big spinning thing here like this...Damn!
There goes another one!"

Newly arrived in Boston from the old country, Paddy O'Shea called
his brother back home. "Sean, it's amazin, these American cities.
On most every street, they got glass outhouses, and it's
TELEPHONES they put in 'em!"

Q: How do you sink an Irish submarine?
A: Knock on the hatch.

Did you hear about the two Irish gays? Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick.

Q: What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
A: One less drunk.

Q) What do you do if an Irishman throws a grenade at you ?
A) Take the pin out and throw it back at him.

Q) What if he removes the pin from the grenade.
A) Run before he throws the pin at you.

Q: What do you call an Irish pervert?
A: An Irishman who prefers sex to whiskey.

IRISH BLESSING
As you slide down the banister of life, may all the splinters be pointed in the right direction!