M O N K E Y S !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[happy173]

Okay guys, that got your attention, couldn't quite get too many monkeys, but got couple of gorillas instead, hey sue me, an ape's an ape

Noon in the jungle.

Under a tree a lion tries to sleep, when he hears strange laughing. He rises and strolls to the bushes where the laughter seems to come from.
Behind the bush a group of elephant bulls is sitting in a circle and they are laughing their heads off.
Lion: "Hey elephants, why are you laughing?"
Elephant: "We are fucking some monkeys"
Lion: "Well, I do that as well, but I don't see what's so funny about it."
Elephant: "Because they don't burst when YOU cum."



A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very ornery, and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem: she was in heat. What to do? There was no male of this species available.
While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Mike, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Now Mike, it was rumored, possessed ample ability to satisfy any female, and he wasn't very bright. So the zoo administrators thought they might have a solution. Perhaps they could entice Mike to satisfy the female gorilla. So he was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to screw the gorilla--for five hundred bucks? Mike replied that he might be interested, but would have to think the matter over.
The following day, Mike announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions:
"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her," and "Second, I want nothing to do with any offspring that may result from this union."
The zoo administration quickly acceded to these conditions, but what could be the third?
"Well," said Mike, "You've gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred bucks."



Five men end up stranded on a tropical island. The only female around is a gorilla on the other end of the island. After one whole month the guys are all sitting around and Garry stands up and says, "I'm so horny, I can't take it anymore!"
So he grabs a bag and storms off to the other side of the island with his pals right behind him. They catch the gorilla, each guy grabs an arm or leg and Garry puts the bag over the gorilla's head. He climbs on top of the gorilla and begins to do the nasty.
The gorilla fights and struggles and finally gets an arm free and she wraps it around Garry's back. Then she gets both feet free and wraps them around Garry's waist. She gets her other arm free and grabs on to his hips and starts pulling him in harder and harder. Garry yells to his buddies...."Get it off!! Get it off!!
They said, "You're on top, we can't get her off of you."
Garry said... "No, I mean the bag..I want to kiss the bitch!"



There's a guy hitchiking along the highway, when along comes an 18-wheeler. It pulls up, and comes to a grinding halt. The hitcher runs to the truck, reaches up, opens the door and jumps in. Inside the truck is the driver, and beside him is his pet monkey.
"Great lookin' monkey, mate" said the hitcher.
"Yeah, he's great company, and he looks after you as well. Take a look at this."
Without further ado, the truckie winds up, and punches the monkey in the guts with all his might. The monkey dutifully bends down, unzips the truckie's fly, goes down and gets to work on the truckie at a vigorous pace. Once the captain of the Kenworth has unloaded his cargo all over the cabin, the monkey wipes him off, zips up his master's fly and sits back down in his seat in the cabin.
"That's GREAT!!!" says the by now quite interested hitchiker. "Can I have a go??"
The truckie looks across and replies, "Yeah sure, why not?"
"There's only one thing though" says the hitcher.
"What?"
"There's no need to smack me in the guts so hard."

PS adzee, I am looking for one with lawyers AND monkeys, trust me I am trying, but I guess even a monkey doesn't want to be insulted that badly

[gfedcba]

LOL.........real funny happy.........

[bagger]

Goodies!!

[Tweety]

no shame in those...LOL

[Speed Daemon]

Well, this oughta make wotan and the boys happy...

[siggy]

LOL nice ones happy... and keep that search on for the perfect joke.... I'm sure its out there somewhere.

[Wotan]

hehe !! ^^

[adzee]

	Quote:
	PS adzee, I am looking for one with lawyers AND monkeys, trust me I am trying, but I guess even a monkey doesn't want to be insulted that badly [/b]

lol, give the little guys a break!