MORE JOKES FOR MEMBERS OF SS TO CELEBRATE THE INTERNATIONAL MOMENT OF LAUGHTER DAY WHICH IS TODAY. ENJOY THESE JOKES BROTHERS & SISTERS
The Outback Virgin!
A woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he is still a virgin. After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad. She ends up corresponding with a man who has lived his entire life in the Australian outback.
They end up getting married. On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the festivities. When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, naked and all the furniture from the room piled in one corner.
"What happened?" she asks.
"I've never been with a woman," he says, "but if it's anything like a kangaroo, I'm gonna need all the room I can get."
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@
The Bored Husband!
"Well," replies Fred, "truth be known, I'm just bored with screwin' the same hole night after night after night. I guess I'm hankering' for a bit of variety."
Jim replied, "Well, if you want variety, why don't you just, you know, turn her over every now and again?"
Fred says, "What? And have a house full of kids?"
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@
Tattoo Your Penis!
Jack has a girlfriend, Wendy, whom he loves a lot. To prove how much he loves her, he gets "Wendy" tattooed on his penis. When it's erect, it says her name, and when deflated it reads "Wy".
When she sees her name on his masculine member, she is overwhelmed.
Jack pops the question to her, she accepts and off they go to Jamaica on their honeymoon! There, they try out all the local culture, including a
nude beach. They are having a great time, when Jack decides to get up from sunbathing, and get something to drink at the beach bar.
He walks over to the bar with his deflated love muscle, trying not to let his eye wander and embarrass himself! He orders a drink from the guy at the bar who is also naked. He is surprised to note that the bartender also has "Wy" tattooed on his penis!
Jack says to the guy, "Wow, what a coincidence, your girlfriend is named "Wendy" and you have her name tattooed on your private too!"
The bartender looks slowly down at Jack's thing, back to his face and starts laughing!
Flashing a wide grin, he says, "No, mon. Mine says, "Welcome to Jamaica, Have a nice day"
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@
Toys & Boys!
These two poor kids go to a birthday party at a rich kid's house. The kid is so rich that he has his own swimming pool and all the kids go in.
As they're changing afterwards, one of the poor kids says to the other one, "Did you notice how small the rich kids' penises were?"
"Yeah," says his mate, "It's probably because they've got toys to play with."
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@
I Gotta Have You!
A husband and wife were in the bathroom getting ready for work when the husband looked at his wife and said, "I gotta have you!"
He backed her up against the bathroom door, pulled down her panties and ravaged her. He knew he was doing great because she screamed and wiggled more than she ever had before.
When he finished, he started putting his clothes back on and when he noticed his wife still writhing against the door he said,
"That was the best, honey. You've never moved like that before, you didn't hurt yourself did you?"
His wife replies, "No, no. I'll be OK once I can get the doorknob out of my ass."
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@
The Blonde's New Vibrator
A newlywed husband had to go on a business trip, and hated to leave his gorgeous, sexy blonde wife alone. The night before he left, he brought home a vibrator and gave it to her.
"What's this for?" she asked.
"It's for those lonely nights when you miss me," explained her husband, winking. "Just think of it as something to take my place when you get horny."
A week later, hubby returns home, and finds the vibrator in the garbage.
"Honey," he says, "why did you throw it away? I told you, you should use it in my place when I'm gone."
"I did," she said. "But the damned thing rattled my fillings loose."
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@
Too Much Sex?
A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she is exhausted all the time. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor gets around to asking her how often she has intercourse.
"Every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday," she says.
The doctor advises her to cut out Wednesday.
"I can't," says the woman. "That's the only night I'm home with my husband!"
ENJOY THESE JOKES MEMBERS OF SS.