SS JOKES 2 --- enjoy these jokes

chongwah · **SS JOKES 2 --- enjoy these jokes -** 03-14-2004, 09:45 PM

Don't Commit Adultery!

This is a little known tale of how GOD came to give us the Ten Commandments.
GOD first went to the Egyptians and asked them if they would like a commandment.

"What's a commandment," they asked.

"Well, it's like, THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY," replied GOD.

The Egyptians thought about it and then said, "No way, that would ruin our weekends."

So then GOD went to the Assyrians and asked them if they would like a commandment.

They also asked, "What's a commandment?"

"Well," said GOD, "It's like, THOU SHALT NOT STEAL."

The Assyrians immediately replied, "No way. That would ruin our economy."

So finally GOD went to the Jews and asked them if they wanted a commandment.

They asked, "How much?"

GOD said, "They're free."

The Jews said, "Great! We'll take TEN."

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Honeymoon Reveal!

On their wedding night, Bruce displays his dick to his new blonde virgin bride and tells her it's the only one in the world. She, of course, believes him.
He's gone for a conference for a couple of weeks and returns, only to be questioned by his new wife.

"Bruce," she says, "I thought you said you had the only one in the world. But Harry at the drug store has one, too."

"Well, er," Bruce flusters, "Harry and I were in the war together, I had two, so I gave him one of mine."

"Oh. Well, why did you give him the big one?"

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Naughty Greeting Cards!

Things you probably won't see on a Hallmark card:

10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk
But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.

9. Our love will never become cold and hollow
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store
In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.

7. This feels so good, it feels so right
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.

6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class
Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.

5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished
But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!

4. Through all the things that came to pass
Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass.

3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie
I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".

2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!

1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister,
you should check out the one that I gave to your sister!

HAVE FUN BROTHERS & SISTERS OF SS.