Dirty Jokes

[cls]

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for
their 25th anniversary.
As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25
years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you
thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger
jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the
doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his
professionallism goes right out the window...
He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.
"Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor?
"Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies.
He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes
them off. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, "Do you know what I am doing now?",
She replies, "Yes, checking for cancer."
Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays
her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having sex with her. He says to her, "Do you know what I am doing now?"
She replies, "Yes, getting herpies - thats why I am here!"

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This couple were in bed getting busy when the girl places the guys hand onto her pussy. "Put your finger in me..." she asks him. So he does without hesitation, as she starts moaning. "Put two fingers in...", she says.
So in goes another one. She's really starting to get worked
up when she says, "Put your whole hand in!". The guy's like, "Ok!". So he has his entire hand in,
when she says moaning aloud "Put both your hands
inside of me!!!". So the guy puts both of his hands in! "Now clap your hands..." commands the girl.
"I can't", says the guy. The girl looks at him and says "See, I told
you I had a tight pussy!".

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A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of
a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

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A couple just got married and on the night of their
honeymoon before passionate love, the wife tells the husband, "Please be gentile, I'm still a virgin." The husband being shocked, replied, "How's this possible? You've been married three times before." The wife responds, "Well, my first husband was a gynecologist and all he wanted to do was look at it. My second
husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk
about it. Finally, my third husband was a stamp collector and all he wanted to do was...oh, do I miss him!"

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On their first night together, a newlywed couple go to
change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom showered and wearing a beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe."
The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is
astonished."Oh, oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture. Puzzled she asks, "My picture?" He answers, "Yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever". She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "Why do you wear a robe? We are married now." At that the man opens his robe and
she exclaims, "oh, OH, OH MY, let me get a picture". He
beams and asks why and
she answers, "So I can get it enlarged!"

[Ferrari95]

Really nice my friend. Thanks a lot!!!

[listboxes]

Lol those were good.

Here's another.
A young man comes home from one day at school and says to his father "today in school they were talking about a "vagina". What does a vagina look like?"

His father looks at him for a moment and replies "Before sex it looks like a beutiful unopened rose."

"What does it look like after?" asked his son.

"Well son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise??" Replys his fater.

[hikarunaruto]

Love the jokes especially the beauty in the doctor's office. Hehehe. Thanks.

[covise]

LOL - good jokes cls

[Glorious]

LOL!

[Kermy]

superb jokes. Thanks!

[PK_]

LOOOOOL
tnx

[deeznutzs1]

Not a dirty joke, but a mean one........

What do you say to a women with a black eye??




















Nothing.....I already told her once.

[Sako]

	Quote:
	Originally posted by deeznutzs1 Not a dirty joke, but a mean one........ What do you say to a women with a black eye?? Nothing.....I already told her once.

She shoulda cooked ya something better than pizza, am I right? Jeez. Dippy broads.