This Is What Makes Us Scotsmen Unique

[TJM]

The typical Englishman finishes his breakfast of toast and marmalade invented by Mrs Keller of Dundee, Scotland, and slipsinto his raincoat, patented by Charles Mackintosh from Glasgow, Scotland. He then walks to his office along an Enlgish - tarmac surfaced - lane, invented by John Loudon MacAdam of Ayr, Scotland. Or he arrives in his car, which is fitted with pneumatic tyres patnented by John Boyd Dunlop, of Dreghorn, Scotland.
Before he had a car he used to travel by train, which was powered by a steam engine, invested by James Watt of Greenock, Scotland.
In his office he deals with the mail bearing adhesice stamps invented by John Chalmers of Dundee, Scotland, and makes frequent use of the telephone, invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland.
At home in the evening, he dines on his favourite Roast beef from Aberdeen Angus, raised in Aberdeenshire, Scotland. He then watches some television - an invention of Scotsman John Logie Baird, of Helensbourgh, Scotland - about John Paul Jones, father of the United States navy, born in Kirkbean, Scotland. The Englishman's son prefers to read Treasure Island, written by famous Scottish author, Robert Louis Stevenson, from Edinburgh, Scotland. Whilst his daughter prefers to play in the garden with her bicycle, invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, of Thornhill, Scotland.

It is impossible for an Englishman to escape the ingenuity of the Scots!

In desperation he turns to the bible only to find that the first person metioned is a Scotsman king James V1, who authorized the translation.
He could - of course - turn to drink, but Scotland makes the finest whiskey in the world.
At the end of his tether he uplifts a rifle to end it all, but Captain Patrick Feguson, of Pitfours, Scotland invented the Breech-loading-rifle!
If the Englishman escapes death by the rifle, he would find himself being injected with penicillin - discovered by Scottish Bacteriologist, Sir Alexander Fleming, of Darvel, Scotland - or he might be given Chloroform, am anaesthetic first used by Sir James Young Simpson, of Bathgate, Scotland.
Out of the anaesthetic, the Englishman's mood would not be improved if the doctor told him that his condition was as safe as the bank of England, which was founded by William Paterson, of Dumfries, Scotland.

Perhaps in order to get some peace, he could request a transfusion o guid Scottish blood so that he to could be entitled to ask

Wha's like us?

[triv]

	Quote:			Originally Posted by TJM
	The typical Englishman finishes his breakfast of toast and marmalade invented by Mrs Keller of Dundee, Scotland, and slipsinto his raincoat, patented by Charles Mackintosh from Glasgow, Scotland. He then walks to his office along an Enlgish - tarmac surfaced - lane, invented by John Loudon MacAdam of Ayr, Scotland. Or he arrives in his car, which is fitted with pneumatic tyres patnented by John Boyd Dunlop, of Dreghorn, Scotland. Before he had a car he used to travel by train, which was powered by a steam engine, invented in ancient Egypt by a Greek man. In his office he deals with the mail bearing adhesice stamps invented by John Chalmers of Dundee, Scotland, and makes frequent use of the telephone, stolen by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland, from Antonio Meucci. At home in the evening, he dines on his favourite Roast beef from Aberdeen Angus, raised in Aberdeenshire, Scotland. He then watches some television - an invention of Scotsman John Logie Baird, a frankly useless mechanical televesion, with a picture far inferior to the cathose ray tube invented inn the US about the same time, of Helensbourgh, Scotland - about John Paul Jones, father of the United States navy, born in Kirkbean, Scotland. The Englishman's son prefers to read Treasure Island, written by famous Scottish author, Robert Louis Stevenson, from Edinburgh, Scotland. Whilst his daughter prefers to play in the garden with her bicycle, invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, of Thornhill, Scotland. It is impossible for an Englishman to escape the ingenuity of the Scots! In desperation he turns to the bible only to find that the first person metioned is a Scotsman king James V1, who authorized the translation. He could - of course - turn to drink, but Scotland makes the finest whiskey in the world. At the end of his tether he uplifts a rifle to end it all, but Captain Patrick Feguson, of Pitfours, Scotland invented the Breech-loading-rifle! If the Englishman escapes death by the rifle, he would find himself being injected with penicillin - discovered by Scottish Bacteriologist, Sir Alexander Fleming, of Darvel, Scotland, but known to African natives for literally thousands of years and used by the French ages before Flemming put a name to it - or he might be given Chloroform, am anaesthetic first used by Sir James Young Simpson, of Bathgate, Scotland which can result in extreme headaches upon regaining consciousness, and is none too pleasent otherwise. Much outclassed by "laughing gas", first created by an englishman. Out of the anaesthetic, the Englishman's mood would not be improved if the doctor told him that his condition was as safe as the bank of England, which was founded by William Paterson, of Dumfries, Scotland, and a huge amount of good they are doing us right now, eh?. Perhaps in order to get some peace, he could request a transfusion o guid Scottish blood so that he to could be entitled to ask Wha's like us?

What fun

[TJM]

haha, smart arse, but we are stil unique

[corocoro]

Just revel in the knowledge that you are unique, just like everyone else.

[TJM]

i do try haha

[vmreyes]

Haha, been living in Scotland (Edinburgh to be exact) for the past few years. Great place, and yeah, a lot of that stuff is true. It's a tad bit ironic though about the banks, a Scotsman founded the bank of England, but the one who founded the bank of Scotland did a pretty bad job haha.

Oh, and one last thing, no one uses chloroform for anesthetic anymore, it's extremely toxic. It makes a great solvent for a lot of chemical reactions tho! Personally, I use it. Thank the Scots for that one!

[TJM]

edit oops double post

[triv]

I do agree the Scots are unique... interpret that how you want
Scotland is a place I like a lot though, some good sailing ground there

[TJM]

couldnt tell you anything about sailing im afraid, havent been sailing much around my country lol, do alot of cliff diving and pier jumping thats about it