Laughter the best medicine.

[chongwah]

"Y'all got any American razor blades in here ?" the Texan asked the London pharmacist. "All I see are these damn Wilkinsons."

"Sir," the Englishman patiently replied, "Wilkinson has been producing the finest surgical instruments, weapons and razors since before Waterloo."

"I don't give a damn if they passed them out on Noah's Ark if they ain't any good." the Texan retorted.

"I can assure you they are very good sir." the peeved druggist said. "Why just last year, my wife swallowed one. It gave her a tonsillectomy, an appendectomy, a hysterectomy, circumcised the gardener, emasculated a neighbour, cut two of a delivery boy's fingers off at the knuckle -- and I still got 10 shaves out of it. Little Johnny is approached by the lifeguard at the public swimming pool.

"You're not allowed to pee in the pool," said the lifeguard. "I'm going to report you."

"But everyone pees in the pool," said Little Johnny.

"Maybe," said the lifeguard, "but not from the diving board!"