SOme...........

[happy173]

Glen and a young woman are stuck in an elevator and the building is on fire. The young woman asks: "Sir I am interested what would you do if you thought you only had twenty minutes to live?"

"Well, says Glen, I think I would screw anything that moved. Why? What would you do?"

"Well, says the young thing, under the circumstances, I think I would remain perfectly still."

Two eight-year-old boys played in a vacant lot everyday, and across the street was a brothel. Day after day they saw men go up, knock on the door, go in, and eventually come out happy and smiling.

One day they became curious and decided to see what was going on. The madam answers the door and looks down at the boys, and asks what they want. They explain what they saw, and tell her that they are curious as to what goes on inside.

The Madam thinks for a moment, shrugs, and says, "Do you have 5 dollars?"

Both boys dig deep into their pockets and come up with a total of 50 cents.

She says, "OK, that will have to do," as she proceeds to lift her skirt and pull down her panties. She tells both boys to take a sniff, which they do.

She closes the door and the kids proceed home. About halfway down the block one boy turns to the other and says, "Ya know Joey, I don't think I coulda stood 5 dollars worth of that."

A woman goes into a pet shop looking for a parrot. The assistant shows her a beautiful African Grey parrot. "What about this one, Madam? A beautiful bird, I'm sure you'll agree, and it's an absolute steal at only $20." "Why is it that cheap?" the woman asks. "Well", replies the assistant, it used to live in a brothel and as a result its language is a touch fruity"

"Oh, I don't mind that", said the woman, making her mind up, "I'm broad minded and it'll be a laugh having a profane parrot". So saying, she buys the parrot and takes him home.

Once safely in his new home, the parrot looks around and squawks at the woman "Fuck me, a new brothel and a new madam"

"I'm not a madam and this isn't a brothel" says the woman indignantly.

A little later the woman's two teenage daughters arrive home. "Fuck me, a new brothel, a new madam, and now new prostitutes" says the parrot when he sees the daughters.

"Mom, tell your parrot to shut-up, we're not prostitutes" complain the girls, but they all see the funny side and have a laugh at their new pet.

A short while later, the woman's husband comes home. "Well fuck me, a new brothel, a new madam, new whores, but the same old clients. How ya doin', Mac?"

An old Italian woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish New York City Building, when two young and beautiful women get into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume.

The little old Italian woman says, "my, what nice aromas"!

One turns to the old Italian woman and says ARROGANTLY, "Romance" by Ralph Loren, $150 an ounce!"

The other young and beautiful woman also very ARROGANTLY turns to the old woman saying, "Channel No. 5, $200 an ounce!"

The little Italian woman is feeling very insulted from the remarks made to her. About 3 floors later, the old Italian woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator.

Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye, then bends over and farts and says..."Broccoli, 49 cents a pound."

[chongwah]

NICE ONES YOU HAVE HERE TOO, happy173. THANKS FOR BRINGING THE LAUGHTER ON MY FACE.THE LAST ONE IS THE BEST.

[MikeB]

very good happy

[mitch-m]

LOL nice one

[Kermy]

I like em - thanks.

[ahkong]

LMAO....

[passkillah]

LOL