it's my joke day

[Toelover]

Ken's last request...
Ken was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. "Promise to fulfill my last request, Cindy," he said. "Of course, Ken," his wife said softly. "Six months after I die," he said, "I want you to marry Tim." "But I thought you hated Tim," she said. With his last breath, Ken said, "I do!"
--------------------
Larry's Bar
A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she goes to bed with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?" "Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, where exactly
is Larry's bar?"
--------------------
The curse.....
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse" he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

--------------------
Okay, I am not the type to strike up conversations with strangers in
washrooms on the side of the road. However, someone in the stall next to mine in the bathroom says, "how are you doing. I didn't know
what to say, but, finally, I say: "Not bad."

Then the voice says: "So, what are you doing?"

I am starting to find this a bit weird, but I say: "Well, I'm on my way to
Biloxi."

Then I hear the person, all flustered, say: "Look, I'll call you back -
every time I ask you a question this idiot in the
next stall keeps answering me."

-----------------------
An Alabamian came home and found his
house on fire. He rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and
shouted, "Hurry over here-muh house is on fahr!"
"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
"Shucks, don't you fellers still have those big red trucks?"

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Why do folks in Kentucky go to R-rated movies in groups of 18 or more?
Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.

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Where was the toothbrush invented?
Arkansas.
If it were invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
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What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in Florida
have in common?
No matter what, somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer.

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Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is carrying a
sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th' bag?"
"Jes' some chickens."
"If I guesses how many they is, kin I have
one?"
"Shoot, if ya guesses right, I'll give you both of 'em!" "OK.
Ummmmm...five?"

[euroboy]

LOL

[MikeB]

Hi HI Hi - Thanks !

[veribus]

[Speed Daemon]

Couple o' good ones. hehe...I like that R-rated one.

[spuggy]

good jokes
thanks

[chongwah]

Some nice ones here. Keep it coming, brother. [list=1][/list=1] A sex a day keeps the doctor away.