[TJM]

The typical Englishman finishes his breakfast of toast and marmalade invented by Mrs Keller of Dundee, Scotland, and slipsinto his raincoat, patented by Charles Mackintosh from Glasgow, Scotland. He then walks to his office along an Enlgish - tarmac surfaced - lane, invented by John Loudon MacAdam of Ayr, Scotland. Or he arrives in his car, which is fitted with pneumatic tyres patnented by John Boyd Dunlop, of Dreghorn, Scotland.
Before he had a car he used to travel by train, which was powered by a steam engine, invested by James Watt of Greenock, Scotland.
In his office he deals with the mail bearing adhesice stamps invented by John Chalmers of Dundee, Scotland, and makes frequent use of the telephone, invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland.
At home in the evening, he dines on his favourite Roast beef from Aberdeen Angus, raised in Aberdeenshire, Scotland. He then watches some television - an invention of Scotsman John Logie Baird, of Helensbourgh, Scotland - about John Paul Jones, father of the United States navy, born in Kirkbean, Scotland. The Englishman's son prefers to read Treasure Island, written by famous Scottish author, Robert Louis Stevenson, from Edinburgh, Scotland. Whilst his daughter prefers to play in the garden with her bicycle, invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, of Thornhill, Scotland.

It is impossible for an Englishman to escape the ingenuity of the Scots!

In desperation he turns to the bible only to find that the first person metioned is a Scotsman king James V1, who authorized the translation.
He could - of course - turn to drink, but Scotland makes the finest whiskey in the world.
At the end of his tether he uplifts a rifle to end it all, but Captain Patrick Feguson, of Pitfours, Scotland invented the Breech-loading-rifle!
If the Englishman escapes death by the rifle, he would find himself being injected with penicillin - discovered by Scottish Bacteriologist, Sir Alexander Fleming, of Darvel, Scotland - or he might be given Chloroform, am anaesthetic first used by Sir James Young Simpson, of Bathgate, Scotland.
Out of the anaesthetic, the Englishman's mood would not be improved if the doctor told him that his condition was as safe as the bank of England, which was founded by William Paterson, of Dumfries, Scotland.

Perhaps in order to get some peace, he could request a transfusion o guid Scottish blood so that he to could be entitled to ask

Wha's like us?